January 3, 2023
The Making of Mia:
Searching for Belonging in Daycare, Learning to Live a Less-Scripted Life
Sarah Ayers
Aviva Publishing (2022)
ISBN: 979-8886807776
New Book Reveals How Daycare Workers Change Lives
Sarah Ayers’ new book The Making of Mia: Searching for Belonging in Daycare, Learning to Live a Less-Scripted Life is a mix of memoir, personal development, and child education philosophy. Sarah has worked in five daycares, including her own, which she has operated since 2010. She writes honestly and insightfully about her experiences, including what she learned from caring for children, and what she learned about herself. Daycare workers and anyone involved in childcare or early education will be able to relate to many of her experiences. However, this book is not a how-to book about how to run a daycare. It’s about the bonds Sarah developed with children, parents, and coworkers. It’s about the needs she saw that went beyond just providing a safe place for the children to stay during the day. It’s about how being a daycare worker changed who she is. It is also a love story about loving children, receiving love and support from friends, and finally finding the one to love for life.
The Making of Mia is divided into chapters that mostly focus on the stories of individual children Sarah has worked with. Mia is just one of the children Sarah knew, but she stands out because she had a confidence beyond most of the other children. Mia was not afraid to tell children who could be her friend and who couldn’t on any given day, and the other children, rather than resent her, seemed honored by her attention and friendship when she chose to bestow them. Sarah herself wished sometimes she had Mia’s confidence.
Other children’s stories include that of a little boy, Connor, who was a holy terror to the point where none of the daycare teachers wanted him in their class. He even chased Sarah with a pair of scissors, which became a life-changing experience for her. Other stories tell of children who were neglected or overlooked by their parents in favor of other siblings or children whose fathers or mothers were not in the picture. There are even stories of fathers who flirted with daycare workers, daycare workers who flirted back, and one worker who burned down the daycare. Altogether, Sarah provides an inside look at daycares and the individual lives of everyone involved with them.
Sarah also shares the sadness, frustration, and sense of loss that she felt as a daycare worker when her relationships with children ended. She repeatedly wonders how these children’s lives turned out, but most of their stories are incomplete because she was only in their lives for a short time. Most of the children were preschool or elementary age, although at one point Sarah allowed middle school children to be at her daycare after school. One of the most poignant stories is about a middle school girl she bonded with who ended up living a rather troubled life. Sarah’s heart broke when this girl eventually refused to see her or let her help her, but fortunately, this is one of the few stories that not only has an ending, but a happy one.
One of the book’s strongest themes is the value of play for children—unstructured play that allows them to figure things out for themselves. Sarah states: “I believe in real play, the kind of play we did as children, building things outside, bringing things indoors from our wanderings, this really brings richness to learning.”
Sarah states early on that the book has three goals: 1) to see the world through her eyes as a daycare worker, 2) to provide the reader a chance to think deeper about each story and its point, which is aided by the journal prompts provided at the end of every chapter, and 3) to provide a project at the end of each chapter that relates to the main point. Some of these projects are fun like finding a gluten-free Play-Doh recipe or setting up a nap room while others are more introspective. Throughout the book are recurring lessons about confidence, happiness, compassion, belonging, and positive development through play. The last, Sarah emphasizes, is important not just for children but adults because modern life too often leaves no room for creativity. The result is a book that is practical, entertaining, and thought-provoking.
When you finish this book, you will wonder like Sarah what happened to many of these children because your inner child will have resonated with them like Sarah’s did with Mia. Sarah writes of Mia:
“Sometimes as I think of her, it seems that we had a lot in common. We both pushed outside of the lines, challenging boundaries, and found learning within play. The primary difference that I notice now, after giving myself intentional time to consider, is that she did it in a bolder way and didn’t seem fearful at all. As I get older, I still push and challenge and am finding confidence that she was bursting with then!”
Wondering what happened to Mia, and her mother who was a teacher at the daycare, inspired Sarah to write this book. So many of the children hold a place in her heart now, even though many are now college-age or older. Some of these children had horrific home lives, and in at least one instance, Sarah had to get Social Services involved. She learned to walk a fine line between caring and not caring too much while continually wishing them all well. She states:
“Whenever a child I am worried about leaves my care, my husband says, ‘It’s okay; they will be okay. Life does go on, and they don’t truly need you.’ While that sounds mean to me at the time, I have learned it is true, and I cling to that truth…. They will be okay as certainly I will.”
In the end, Sarah realized that the only help she could give these children for certain was a safe place to play and learn from 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., Monday to Friday except holidays. However, what happens during that time was incredibly important. Sarah tells us:
“I want the world to understand the childcare industry as more than babysitting, but not as an academic pursuit either. I guess people have not known how to let early learning providers into the larger conversation of bringing world peace. And that is what I want this book to bring daycare workers closer to…. We hold the hearts, minds, and moments that are so dear, so precious, and truthfully, the future of the nations. We are on the outside, left out of the conversation on mental health, the economy, social media, politics, yet everything affects us.”
The Making of Mia will help to give daycare workers the respect they deserve. It will also help people realize how much like children we all on some level still are. We can all benefit from a little unstructured play and a little compassion from others.
For more information about Sarah Ayers and The Making of Mia, visit www.MakingofMia.com.
— Tyler R. Tichelaar, PhD and award-winning author of Narrow Lives and The Best Place
