July 7, 2020
Loving Someone Who Is Dying:
Choose Your Attitude, Create Your Life!
Nicholas Strand
Aviva Publishing (2020)
ISBN: 978-1-950241-55-2
Book Shares Story of Amazing Woman Who Died Young But Lived Large
Nicholas Strand’s new book Loving Someone Who Is Dying: Choose Your Attitude, Create Your Life, documents the life story of his wife Brianna, their relationship, and most importantly, her courage as she spent her life learning to live with cystic fibrosis (CF) and not let it control her life. This book will show you that even in the face of all odds, you can have a positive outlook on life, enrich the world for those around you, and leave a legacy that will continue to inspire others.
It is hard to describe Brianna in just a few words. She had so many levels and strengths. However, her husband, Nick, captures her well when he explains what led to the photo of Brianna on the book’s front cover:
“Her beauty was what drew most people’s attention. But her power was visible, politely letting her beauty take center stage. What you don’t see was her 101-degree temperature, or her removing the needle and setting her IV aside so she could jump into her wedding dress and let her beauty radiate. Yet she did it with ease, without any sign that she was in a constant war to keep her body alive.”
Brianna constantly radiated love, joy, support, kindness, and fun. As Nick shares, she refused to let CF control her. She had to be in control, and when CF took control, she got mad. Nick documents many examples of how Brianna always stayed one step ahead of CF. She was diagnosed with CF at a young age and told she wouldn’t live past thirteen, but she made it almost to thirty. In high school, she was heavily involved in 4-H, serving as an officer and giving speeches. Nick first met her through this organization, and as he got to know her, rather than letting her CF dissuade him, he hopped on the Brianna bandwagon and rode it all the way, supporting her in everything she did while always being amazed by how “Bri-mazing!” she was.
One example of how Brianna followed her dreams, despite CF, is reflected in her love for animals. She wanted to be a veterinarian, but her illness kept getting in the way of her education. Regardless, she found a job working at a veterinarian clinic; she pushed CF aside so she could take care of the animals, as well as bring love and light into the lives of all who visited the clinic. Nick and her family would often visit her at work, and sometimes, they had to force her to leave work to focus on her CF rather than the animals.
Despite how her illness could have held her back, Brianna took up the challenge of appearing before the US Senate to testify to the need for funding to learn more about CF. By that point, she was too ill to work any longer, but she was still determined to help people through her testimony. In her testimony, she describes her relationship with her disease and why she wanted to share her story:
“I consider myself a stay-at-home mom to my kid, CF. Much like kids, you have to constantly take care of CF, and it is a part of my life forever. It also takes a village…. I didn’t share my story for you to feel sorry for me or to pity me. We all have hurdles and limitations in life, but it’s not about that limitation; it’s about the power you give that limitation. My hope is that by sharing my story today, you feel inspired—inspired to get involved with funding research for new medications and inspired to help make a difference for someone affected by these bacteria. Most importantly, I hope you use that inspiration to be a part of something life changing.”
At the end of her life, Brianna still remained in control of her disease. She wanted her IVs removed before she went home from the hospital for the last time. Nick describes this as “a small victory for Brianna. Sure, CF would take her life, but by no means would she allow it to run her life. Removing the IVs gave her a bit of freedom while her body shut down.”
Brianna’s story could have been a sad one, but these pages testify to a life full of love. In fact, her husband and she in many ways had a fairy-tale type relationship, despite the challenges. Nick states, “getting through those challenges made us stronger. What’s important is how you adjust, love, and lean on each other for support. Be honest, clear, and always working toward a better life…. Never hold grudges about anything, but always build a better team, constantly readdressing feelings, both positive and negative. Brianna and I never shied away from being vocal and making clear what things made us feel good. If we missed something, those pillow talks usually allowed us a chance to address them.”
Beyond being about Brianna and her disease, Loving Someone Who Is Dying is about how to love. It raises love to a higher level. Brianna knew her time was limited, so she took advantage of every opportunity she had to make life as wonderful as possible for herself and others. Perhaps most telling is Brianna’s response when a medical student once asked her if she wished she didn’t have CF: “Honestly, no. Having CF is a part of what makes me who I am. It’s taught me the power of the love of my family; it gives me a perspective about living each day to its fullest.”
The book’s subtitle, “Choose Your Attitude, Create Your Life” reflects Brianna’s favorite saying, which she coined. This is a woman who had every reason to be angry at the world, but she took her pain and suffering and chose to turn it into something beautiful. It is a lesson we can all benefit from.
For more information about Brianna and Nicholas Strand and Loving Someone Who Is Dying, visit www.LovingSomeoneWhoIsDying.com.
— Tyler R. Tichelaar, PhD and award-winning author of Narrow Lives and The Best Place
