October 5, 2022
Healing the Holes in Your Soul:
Your Journey to Freedom Begins Within
Tiiu Napp
Aviva Publishing (2021)
ISBN: 978-1-63618-072-4
New Book Reveals That Freedom Comes with Healing the Past
Tiiu Napp’s new book Healing the Holes in Your Soul: Your Journey to Freedom Begins Within is one woman’s introspective look at her past, how it shaped her, and ultimately, how she learned to heal from it. Tiiu was born in Canada to Estonian immigrant parents who had migrated there in the wake of World War II. Their paranoia that the Soviets might be out to find them, and their Old World ways, created a restrictive environment for Tiiu that she eventually rebelled against, leaving home at a young age while looking to the wrong men to protect her.
Far more than a memoir, Tiiu’s story takes us on a healing journey that asks the reader to reflect on their own life choices to better understand their past and heal from it. Each chapter ends with questions that allow the reader to reflect upon what they read and how it applies to their own lives. An additional bonus is a foreword by Dr. Michael Gross, author of The Spiritual Primer, and a close friend of Tiiu’s who has helped her understand herself better from a spiritual level and heal her past. In the foreword, Dr. Gross states:
“Along the way, Tiiu muddled through life. She now knows it was a guiding force, and that force, known as God, the True Source, that protected and looked out for her. Tiiu discovered it was her mission and goal to arrive at this point in her life to be an inspiration to change the lives of abused women, men, and children.”
Without being taught by her parents how to make good decisions, Tiiu soon found herself letting others dictate her life experiences. When she left home, she connected with a divorced man recently returned from fighting in Vietnam who was not involved in his children’s lives. Rather than see the red flags, Tiiu tried to help him heal from his PTSD and eventually had her own children with him.
Tiiu’s life from that point was one of constantly trying to protect her children and support her family while her husband worked occasionally and was frequently intoxicated. Never knowing if her husband would bring home a paycheck, she often worked extra jobs to put food on the table. Her life was a perpetual state of crisis until one day she decided she’d had enough, thereby opening the door to gradual healing.
I won’t go into more details of Tiiu’s life. I will, however, say that a kind and beautiful soul shines through in these pages, a soul that has learned how to be gentle with itself and also learned how to trust its own intuition. What she learned is largely summed up in this paragraph from the book’s introduction:
“No matter how long we have been trapped in a fear-based mindset, we can choose to change our destiny. Will you choose negativity cloaked in fear, or positivity surrounded in love? Only you know what choice you will make. Are you ready to unwrap the greatest gift of your life…love? Your journey begins by loving yourself!”
As Tiiu tells her story, she continually pauses to analyze it. Throughout the book, she draws upon the 15 Steps to Freedom which have become her guiding force, and are drawn from her own morals as well as the Viking Honor Code, which she believes is part of her heritage.
Tiiu’s story takes a close look at the effects of family trauma and generational pain. She explores what her parents underwent during World War II as well as how she came to understand them better as she got older and reconnected with them. She looks at the family dynamics that existed, including her place as the middle child, and the learned behaviors from her upbringing. She discusses how many adults struggle with issues of self-worth, lack of self-love, and low self-esteem, and how those patterns are instilled at such a young age that as adults they have difficulty seeing the toxic patterns they have adopted.
Perhaps most importantly, Tiiu understands that people in these situations most need to be loved, but unfortunately, they look for love in all the wrong places. She states:
“I only wish I would have taken my own advice in those days. Stop looking for love in all the wrong places! It’s not in other people or things. I had such expectations that my child would finally give me the love I so dearly needed. What I have learned since that day is love is just beyond your fears. To move forward, we must step out of our comfort zone, move through our fears, and step into our abundant lives. Unconditional love is only one heartbeat away. But you, and only you, must decide to take the action. No one else can do it for you.”
No one else can do it for you, but Tiiu offers guidance on how you can take action. Sometimes that action, as the Buddha said, involves gently letting go of the things not meant for you.
Tiiu’s close look at toxic relationships explores codependency, trauma bonding, why people stay with abusers, how abusers choose their prey, and how to end a cycle of abuse. She offers advice on how to recognize and stay away from narcissists, how to end codependent behavior, and ultimately, how to forgive those who have hurt you and forgive yourself for letting yourself be hurt.
Tiiu’s story is that of wisdom forged in fire. She is still working on healing the holes in her soul, but she is farther along than many, and now, through this book, she holds out her hand, inviting us to cross the bridge with her to a better life on the other side.
For more information about Tiiu Napp and Healing the Holes in Your Soul, visit www.HealingTheHolesInYourSoul.com.
— Tyler R. Tichelaar, PhD and award-winning author of Narrow Lives and The Best Place
