November 13, 2024
Being a Parent Sucks…Sometimes:
18 Tips to Transform Your Pain to Peace
Rowena Starling
Aviva Publishing (2024)
ISBN: 978-1-63618-307-7
New Book Offers Peace of Mind for Stressed-Out Parents
If you’ve ever felt that being a parent sucks sometimes, then Rowena Starling’s new book Being a Parent Sucks…Sometimes: 18 Tips to Transform Your Pain to Peace is the book you need. Rowena knows all the ins and outs of parenting and the pain it can sometimes bring, even long after your child has grown and left the house. In this book, she offers advice to parents of all backgrounds and age ranges, whether single or married, whether with small or adult children.
But this is not a book about parenting—there’s no advice on potty training, how to get your child to eat their vegetables, or warning your kids about the dangers of doing drugs. Instead, this book is about the parent, not the child. It’s about how you, as a parent, deserve to maintain your sanity, and how you can do that.
Despite the tongue-in-cheek title, Rowena takes being a parent very seriously. First and foremost, she believes if you learn to see being a parent as a calling, you will change your mindset about the job of being a parent. She states, “A calling to parent…is a strong inner impulse toward being the best parent you can be, especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence. You are called by God to oversee the development of God’s progeny.”
Rowena offers a spiritual take on parenting by encouraging us to stay in touch with our Higher Power and higher purpose as a parent. Sometimes, we let the chaos of parenting get in the way of listening to our intuition, but it knows the best way to deal with that chaos. She even advocates for meditation, not just for the parent, but for the child. When we teach our children how to meditate to calm themselves, we can help them avoid tantrums and meltdowns and the resulting craziness we feel.
With each chapter in this book, Rowena shares how to create a system that once put into place will not only help you deal with chaos when it happens, but prevent most of it so that over time running your household becomes much easier. Different chapters focus on topics that range from acknowledging your fears and shedding them to learning how to talk in a way that will make your child listen, and from being on the same page as your core parent to getting what you want as a parent.
At the center of the book is the sense that being a parent is a benefit. In fact, it’s nourishing. Rowena reminds us that we get to revisit the “Nourishing moments…like the feeling of the waves of unconditional love that wash through you when your baby smiles at you for the first time, the forced patience that makes you sit quietly and calm down, or the realization that someone else is right and no one has to be wrong.” With that nourishment, parents can come to appreciate the value of picking up the mantle of being responsible parents and heroes to their children so those children can become the next generation of heroes.
That may sound easier said than done, but Rowena gives continual tips throughout the book to help us get in touch with our “Deep Joyous Subconscious Core” so we feel more ease when parenting. She shows us how to stop our minds so we can get off the misery roller coaster. She teaches us how to let go and let God. And perhaps most importantly, she makes us realize we are heroes for what we’ve already accomplished. For example, she prides herself on having raised “a Black male to adulthood in the US without him suffering incarceration or police brutality” and for having “instilled in him fine personal qualities, high moral principles, and high ideals.” Her son has even thanked her for being a great mom!
Besides teaching us to acknowledge what we are doing right, Rowena warns us against parenting pitfalls. Screaming at your child when they are having a tantrum doesn’t help. Instead, she recommends simply holding them so securely they can’t move their arms and have no choice but to calm down. She says, “You’re doing this in a loving way to help their bodies discard that energy.” She also warns against trying to be your child’s friend, remarking, “Do you worry your kids won’t like you? Remember, they are not your friends. They’re counting on you to get them lovingly, safely, and confidently to adulthood. They’ll like you then.”
The chapter on raising the dough to raise a family will be of especial value for some readers. Rowena dismisses several of the myths about parenting in the book and replaces them with truths. One of those myths is “Raising children requires too much money.” She replaces this with the truth, “We have access to abundance.” She then offers a short lesson on how money works so you can learn to save, invest, and grow your money so you and your children will have what you need.
Other topics Rowena covers include the importance of teaching your children the golden rule, how to break the cycle of generational pain with your children that you may have inherited from your parents, how to forgive your parents, and the power of visualizing the parental paradise you want. Each chapter also ends with exercises so you can apply what you have learned in the chapter to your own parent situation.
Being a Parent Sucks…Sometimes is a book you’ll never forget, but after reading it and applying its advice, you may forget why you ever thought being a parent can suck to begin with. Rowena’s surefire strategies for regaining your peace as a parent will have you excited to be a parent again.
For more information about Rowena Starling and Being a Parent Sucks…Sometimes, visit www.BeingAParentSucksSometimes.com.
— Tyler R. Tichelaar, PhD and award-winning author of Narrow Lives and The Best Place
